Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she peed on how many people?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
