She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
