You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
