we have pet lesbian snakes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
