I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
