everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
