You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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