I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Randomize
