literally had 100 drinks last night.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
