I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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