ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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