She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
