I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
did you just send me my own nude
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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