dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
