Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
