but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
