The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
