omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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