I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
