even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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