It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
