can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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