am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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