Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
