Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
