I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
