yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
