Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
