Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
