I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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