The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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