She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
