I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
