my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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