now i know why i became what i already was.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
