I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
