Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
