Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
