I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
