I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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