im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
