it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
another moral hangover. fuck.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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