Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
