p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
