I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
