You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
