That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
