OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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