Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
