wakey wakey hands off snakey
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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