We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
