Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
