Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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