If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
