Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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