i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
