i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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