i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize