I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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