don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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