Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Oh god it's open bar.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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