I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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