i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
operation have a gay friend backfired
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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