I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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