This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it glows. i had to have it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
