Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
