i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
