it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
