You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
