My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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