Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
that is very illegal...i love you.
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