We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
