How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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